2 Boobs in Texas

Gail Collins makes an astute point in her NYTimes Op-Ed piece today regarding the Planned Parenthood/Susan G. Komen unbridling, observing that “…everybody likes breasts – infants, adults, women, men. Really, it’s America’s most popular body part”.  So how the heck did these lefties and righties become entangled in the war between Red and Blue?  Boobs, left to their own devices, get along quite nicely and counter-balance each another.  True, the divide between the two sides vary from wearer to wearer, but there’s a natural harmony regardless.

Texans love boobs too, and yes, bigger is better. But we have other values and cultural mores: open spaces, big possibilities, firm handshakes, rugged independence, UT Longhorns, heat, and icy cold beer. These attributes, along with the Alamo, were enthusiastically celebrated when I was growing up just a couple of blocks from Floore’s Country Store in Helotes. Conservative, catholic, republican, I was nonetheless taught to value the best of both sides, right and left, red and blue, one piece and two, western and english saddles.  Small town but not small minded, we were taught to celebrate the core American ideals alive in The Constitution and The Bill of Rights. Heck, we even believed in separation of church and state back then, even in this biggest/best of all states.

With that idyllic state of mind in mind, what’s up with our leaders “messing with Texas”?  This week, yet another prominent (republican) Texan joined Governor Perry in the contest to become biggest boob in the state.  Nancy Brinker, though founding the life saving Susan G. Komen race for The Cure in 1982,  went from a (metaphorical) AA to a DD when she made known her antiabortion agenda by pulling  long-standing funding provided to Planned Parenthood for mammograms. That was actually round two in her campaign, after last year’s hiring of Karen Handel, former pro-life candidate for governor of Georgia, to serve as senior vice president for public policy. Though left breathless and repentant after getting bucked off on the national stage, it remains to be seen whether she and her organization will be able to reclaim their formerly well deserved ten gallon halo of advocacy for women’s health.

If she’s feeling low, however, she can take heart that Texas Governor Perry is still sitting high in his anti-rights, anti-personal liberty, anti-get the hell out of what is none of your business-human rights, saddle. The Texas Governor (aka self-appointed Christian & Chief) led the Texas Legislature to enact the most aggressive anti-abortion rights law since I strummed “Kumbaya” at Holy Spirit in 8th grade mass.

From The Texas Tribune: “The abortion sonogram law, which lawmakers passed last legislative session, requires doctors to perform sonograms and describe what they see, including the size of the fetus and the length of its limbs. The measure has been in court almost since it passed, with opponents arguing it violates doctors’ First Amendment rights by forcing them to disclose information that isn’t medically necessary and that the woman may not want to hear.”Gov. Rick Perry also praised today’s ruling, calling it “a victory for all who stand in defense of life.”He added that the sonogram measure “ensures that every Texas woman seeking an abortion has all the facts about the life she is carrying, and understands the devastating impact of such a life-ending decision.”  The Texas Tribune Judges: Texas Can Enforce Sonogram Law Now by Emily Ramshaw1/10/2012

Hmmm. Pretty judgy for someone who can’t hold more than two thoughts in his head. He, partnered with his trusty sidekick, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, is steadfastly riding the range, herding the cows and branding them with his demigod hot iron.  Bum Steer indeed.

Folks, we need to get a grip on the reins. Pro-choice is not pro-abortion. Only women know how it feels to slip into those stirrups, and only we can, and should, decide on our bodies, our beliefs, our destiny and our health.  Saddle up for personal liberty:  right or left, red or blue, english or western, AA or B, C or D. Don’t be a boob.

Super Bowl, Soda and Socialism

Did you know the NFL is a socialist organization?  I didn’t. Not until I watched the CBS 60 Minutes interview with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Sunday night.  To hear Commissioner Goodell tell it, in order to be a thriving, for profit capitalist venture, the NFL must follow some smart socialist principles like revenue sharing and government subsidies, otherwise, small markets like  Green Bay, Wisconsin would be shut out of the game. If the League and it’s 32 teams had to be completely self-funded, there’d be no “national” football league, but perhaps smaller regional leagues like the Oil & Gas League of Texas, the Corn & Soy League of Iowa, or the Internet Start-Up League of California.  Foreigners must think we’re all nuts. While our politicians are carpet bombing each other with accusations ranging from elitist to socialist,  our national spectacle, the Super Bowl, the richest single day sporting entertainment event in the world, is erecting statues not just to Brady and Manning, but to Marx.

I’ve never considered taking up Socialism before, but now, emboldened by the renaissance NFL executives, I’m thinking it may be the just the ticket to blocking and tackling another, though less appealing, national obsession, soda.  Ok, after you roll your eyes, take a guess on how much soda the average American drinks in a year.  Spot on. 450 gallons, or the roughly the amount it’d take to fill up a backyard kiddie pool. Now before Sarah Palin’s Smores SWAT team cuffs me, I’m not advocating that we Americans, capitalists and football fans alike, swear off soda, but I am pointing out that we have a big fat problem.

26 million Americans are obese or worse. 8 million of them are children. 30-40% of that population is  Type 2 diabetic or pre-diabetic, a long painful path. Work productivity is suffering, ADD is on the rise in schools, and air travel costs continue to inflate due to longer boarding times and investment in wider seats. Soda, along with other processed food accounts for 75-80% of the Standard American Diet (SAD).  Smack in the middle of the Team SAD’s huddle is the USDA.  Since the 1950’s this MVP has subsidized grain crops, mostly corn and soy, to the point that Team SAD no longer fields Veggies or Fruits.  Short of outfitting 8 million children with full face guard helmets, and with China’s western style appetites driving grain exports to an all time high, it’s about time we shift our farm subsidies to plants that can’t kill us.

Mark Bittman wrote a great Op-Ed piece in the NYTImes on July 23 last year entitled: “Bad Food? Tax It, and Subsidize Vegetables”. Look it up. And then let me know if you’ve joined the team. Hike.

Op-Ed Columnist:  Bad Food? Tax It, and Subsidize Vegetables